DIY Lunchable pizzas

I decided to try my hand at making lunchable pizzas for the kids today. Since I was making pizza for lunch and was going to have left over dough.  I used my favorite pizza dough, just made little pizza rounds. Baked them for 10 minutes at 425 degrees. My husband only likes two brands when it comes to spaghetti sauce. So we use either Classico or Bertillo for any thing Italian. I used little snack size ziplocs for my sauces and cheese.  Then I put the sauces and cheese packets in a big Ziploc.  The little pizza crust went into their own ziploz. I will update with more pictures instructions later if needed.

Gardening

So when we finally moved into a place after saying with my mother. When we first moved back to South Carolina, we started a garden. I will be the first to say I do not have a green thumb. I tried growing a aloe vera plant once and killed it. So to my shock my garden has actually been growing. The kids have been helping out and really enjoyed watching them grow from seeds to something we can eat. We have corn, squash, cucumber, tomatoes, watermelon,  and some others.
I will say though that my tomatoes that I planted in the topsy turvy thing are not doing good. They are producing tomatoes but it gets so hot here the plants start to die. Only when it cools off for a few days do they try to perk back up. I will not be using it next year.

Okay sorry had to take the detour, back to what I really started this post about. They always say being a caregriver is tough and we can burn out if we don't take care of ourselves. So I turned to gardening hoping for a few minutes of peace. That so hasn't happen yet. Lol Either one of the kids comes looking for me or my husband does. I think they have gotten so used to be being around every second. So I asked why can't I get a moments peace. These are my answers I will start with the youngest and work my way up.

Jazzy "cause I love you momma."
Connor "I don't know."
Matt "I didn't know where you were."

I think Jazzy's was the best, don't get me wrong I love my family. But every mom knows you can't even use the bathroom without someone barging in or itty bitty fingers poking under the door. So how am suppose to relax and take a breather. Sometimes I look at the advice doctors and others have given me and just wonder how they think I can get a moments peace without spending money to go somewhere where these magical little kids can't find a way in.

Oops detoured again.  I think I do enjoy gardening except the bees.  I have a huge fear of them since getting stung when I was younger. So whenever I get fustrated with anything I head outside. Atleast I have found something that I can enjoy and relax when I can find a moment to be just by myself.

Being out the military

So we are now out of the military. I was so hoping that once we were out we would be doing fine and my husband could really start healing. I was so wrong no one tells you when you start the med broad process that you should start saving money because it will be awhile before you actually start being financially okay. Which even a few months after getting out we are still trying to get our feet firmly on the ground. Still trying to get everything medically where my husband needs to be. We keep thinking when is life going to get better,  but that's the thing you have your good days and your bad days. Trust me I am the type of person who always looks for the good in every situation. My husband is my total opposite.

My husband still has his blank outs where he doesn't know who I am or who the kids are. My son thought it was a funny game when it happened the last time. Thats when I realized that I haven't actually explained what is wrong with his daddy. He knows what is wrong somewhat but since he stayed with his PaPa for alittle bit when his daddy was getting treatment he never really saw. Yes there are moments when my husband has forgetten where he was when my children are at the store with us but its something that isn't really noticeable. Those moments usually last only a few moments and I can usually redirect my husband to atleast follow me and he still has some idea of who we are. But this last time was one of the few moments that I deal with and have been able to keep my children from seeing. Usually they only happen if he was sleeping and in the middle of a nightmare and hasn't fully woken up. Usually I just leave the bedroom if I have startled him awake and just check on him. So the kids really haven't seen those episodes especially since they were in school but now its summer so they get to see more of the episodes. We found out from one of my husbands new doctors that the episodes might actually be micro seizures in his brain. Which actually makes so much sense and to finally maybe have a real explanation for what is going on. My husband has never hurt anyone and I will say that now so no one gets the wrong idea its just like living with someone that sleepwalks which my husband also does at times.

I only write this to let other spouses know that its normal and that they are not alone. Its a frustrating and long road. I have been married to my husband for almost ten years and I have seen so many different shades of my husband. The when we first got married, the after bootcamp, the after first deployment, the in between deployments, after second deployment and injury, and the after military one. The after military one is still trying to adjust to life out the military. He gets so frustrated about not being the person he was before he got injuried, which is so normal. Its hard for me to watch him get so fustrated and know I can only be supportive of him and help him. While at the same time trying not to smother him and make him feel less than he is. Its such a balancing act. Now he does have his tender moments that remind me that I love this man with all my heart and that this is just a curve in the road of our marriage.  I may not have known what was ahead for us we will got married but I still would have said yes if I knew all the things I do now.

A year thats been busy

So I haven't written in a while its been crazy these last couple months. My husband came back from deployment early due to a IED. We spent months battling for a diagnosis that actually fit all his symptoms. The doctor just kept telling us he had overwhelming PTSD, which I didn't agree with. I know what PTSD is my husband was diagnosed with it prior to this last deployment. Needless to say I fought for us to go to NICoE. NICoE specializes in PTSD and TBI. Along with doing research and learning more about the conditions and how it affects the soldier and the famlies. Well while we were at NICoE they actually listened to me about what I deal with on a daily bases with my husband. They did so many test that they say its 2 years of appointments packed into a one month period. We found out that my husband had hearing loss and needed hearing aids. Also that he had photophobia and vision loss, so he needed special glasses.

Honestly I am just going to list all the things that they found out:
Sleep apnea
Scarring on his eyes
Photophobia
Vision loss
Hearing loss
PTSD; nightmares, anxiety, social anxiety, loud noises and lights bring back memories of tramatic events
TBI: memory loss, blank outs where he doesn't know who anyone is or where he is at, headaches all day long, balance issues, collaspes and blacks out.
Vasalvaga
Peripheral vertigo
Both shoulders have surgery and need more surgery
His neck has a bulge/herinated disk
His hips are messed up uses cane to walk
Speech problems: stuttering

Well thats all I can think of for now. Needless to say its been a very weird and interesting year. My husband received his purple heart for his injuries on that fateful day that changed our lives forever. Everyday is a new day that I just don't know how it will turn out. We went and picked the kids up during Christmas break since it is taking so long for us to get out and Matt's dads health isn't doing to good. So he can't take care of the kids while we finish getting out of the military. Its great having the kids back. The kids are adjusting to having a father that is different than he was before. Both kids are now in speech so its been a busy year of appointments. Hopefully only a few more months here in the desert then we will be back on the East coast.